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Wow! I had so little Christmas spirit this year! Between not working, being by myself so much, and the warm weather, it didn’t feel like Christmas. I didn’t start listening to Christmas music until Christmas morning and after that I was done with it.

Like Thanksgiving, I thought I was going to be spending the day hanging out alone with the dogs. Two days before, my friend Nir invited me to a Chinese dinner and a movie night he was organizing. The day after this I was invited to dinner at my former co-worker Aaron’s house, but I had to turn them down. My friend Jer and a guy named Dallas who I had recently met at a PDX Gaymers event were there for Chinese dinner, as well as some people that I had never met. I knew that people went out to restaurants on Christmas, but I didn’t know Chinese dinner on Christmas Day was a thing. This dinner was an experience. Some people’s orders weren’t quite right. The water tasted bad. I was pretty much told I couldn’t have what I wanted and I was told what I would get instead. After dinner, we saw Little Women, which was really good. I wasn’t expecting to like it as much as I did.

A few days after Christmas, we had a holiday party at Alex and Robert Lee-Olson’s house. It was a great time. I got to see some people I hadn’t seen in while. I’ve been a little bit of a hermit lately and some people’s schedules or location make it hard to get together often.

I don’t care what people say, presents are one of the parts of Christmas I still enjoy. What did I get this year? I hope I’m not forgetting anything.

• dog treats for Max and Reese
• a book on dog massages
• Yooka Laylee and the Impossible Lair
• The Sinister Mystery of the Mesmerizing Girl by Theodora Goss
• a Black Panther build a bear
• Astral Chain
• a cross
• Thor, Dr Strange, and Tony Stark pop vinyls
• Reese’s candy
• A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms by George R.R. Martin
• many wonderful cards
• some stuff I treated myself to
  • a web camera
  • board games Pret-a-Porter, Ecos, 7th Continent, Shadows of Brimstone, Anomia

2019 was a tough year. Two of my closest Portland friends moved away, Xander and then Cody. I don’t think I ever wrote about Cody leaving. I lost my job a few months after being promoted. I got sick with a bad sinus infection in October and have been sick pretty much since. I’m feeling the effects of not eating well and not exercising. Sitting here at home all day has taken a physical and emotional toll on me. I remember writing about how optimistic I was earlier in the year, but all that optimism left for a while. I’m feeling optimistic again about the new year, but if things don’t change soon, I could be right where I was.

I decided to set goals for next year. Since I successfully completed every goal the last time I did this, I think one reason I stopped doing it for a while was so I wouldn’t fail. Here’s my list.

• Lose at least 30 lbs
• Go on at least 1 date
• Arrange at least 1 dog play date
• Leave the state of Oregon at least 3 times
• Beat at least 3 video games
• Learn at least 1 new board game
• Attend at least 1 Meetup I haven’t been to before
• Buy a new bike and ride it
• Go to a convention or festival that’s new to me
• Arrange a photoshoot so I can put my photography equipment to good use
• Don’t be so self conscious about how I look. Post at least 12 pics of myself on social media

We enter a new decade tomorrow. This past decade has been great to me. I spent the first 2 years in Starkville and last 8 years in Portland. Deciding to take a risk, uproot my life, and move to Portland was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. This decade has had some struggles: heartbreak, unhappiness with health and career, and some bouts of loneliness and depression. But overall it’s been great. Don’t they say your 30s are the best years of your life? So far I can’t disagree with that. Some of things I’ve done in this past decade:

• moved across the country
• met a lot of online friends, traveled with them, stayed in each other’s homes
• became a social butterfly
• traveled out of country for the first time
• did a lot more traveling than I did before
• became a leader at work and in the community
• became a dog parent for the 2nd time
• started podcasting
• worked for one of the top tech companies in the world
• dated a guy for the first time
• started going to conventions
• took up new hobbies
• made many great local friends

I hope everyone has a happy New Year and a great decade! Take care of each other!

Thanksgiving was fairly low key this year. Since most of my friends were planning to spend time with their families either out of state or in this area, I had resigned to spending Thanksgiving alone, working on the fish tanks and playing video games. A few days before Thanksgiving, however, my former co-worker Aaron invited me to spend Thanksgiving with his family. I was happy, because although I’m not big on holidays, I still think you shouldn’t spend Thanksgiving and Christmas alone if you don’t want to.

I had to do some last unexpected shopping for sweet potato pie ingredients. It ended up not turning out well. I didn’t start cooking until a couple of hours before I went to Aaron’s and I tried to make it without dairy products. I don’t know if that was the difference or not, but it seemed mushy and under cooked. Since I was running late anyway, I decided to just take a game to share. For dinner we had Aaron and his wife Marissa, Aaron’s brother and his wife and her daughter, and someone named Zeke who knew everybody but I was never sure how he was related to everyone. A couple of guests ended up not coming. The food and conversation was good and we played the game I brought, Anomia, and had fun. Everyone left shortly afterward.

After I left I kept up my Thanksgiving Day movie tradition by going to see Knives Out. It’s such a good movie, one of the best I’ve seen this year.

I’m glad I ended up celebrating Thanksgiving. Bring on Christmas! Even though I feel lonely at times and don’t have a job, I have a feeling this is going to be a fun holiday season. There won’t be someone around who hates the holidays dragging my mood down. I’m looking forward to Christmas and the New Year so much!

This was my favorite Halloween ever. Looking back, one of my goals for 2012 was to go to a Halloween party because I had never been to one and had never even dressed up for Halloween. It didn’t happen. Growing up, I would help hand out candy to the kids in out neighborhood. Lately I watch horror movies in October, but that’s about as close as I normally get to celebrating the day.

I wore an afro wig to work in 2014. I went to my friend Aaron’s party bus/fundraiser to finish the movie he was making in 2015. I dressed as a pimp. I was the only one who dressed up that night. I went to Xander’s fundraiser party in 2016 and dressed up in something of a costume. I just wore a pink wig and had fake scars on my face and carried a sword or a trident or something.

This year Aaron invited me to the 2nd annual party he had at his house. It fell on the Friday before Halloween, which was on a Thursday this year. The theme was villains. I wanted to do Harley Quinn, but I couldn’t find anything that would fit me. After looking at costume ideas for a while, I decided to do the Joker in a nurse’s outfit from The Dark Knight. I ordered the costume and used a wig and face paint I already had. It didn’t take long. I figured it didn’t have to look great because it’s the Joker. Aaron’s party was a blast. Surprisingly since a new Joker move just came out, there was only one other person dressed as the Joker. He was more a Pacific Northwest Joker. I scared a few people that night who didn’t know that I was behind them and were startled when they turned to see me. A couple of people asked to take my photo, which made me realize what cosplayers must feel like. I also scared a 7-Eleven customer before the party and an employee at a different 7-Eleven after the party asked to take my pic. Next year’s theme is heroes.

The next night PDX Gaymers had a Halloween event at Guardian Games. I dressed as the Joker again. Only 2 other people came in costumes, but it was still a great time. I went to a gathering late at my friends Robert and Alex’s house afterward. After that I stopped by Subway and the employee there said that I low-key scared the shit out of her.

On Halloween night itself, my friend Jer had a party at his house. I didn’t dress up for this one because I was tired of dressing up. A bunch of trick-or-treaters came by his house. I kinda wanted to give out candy to them, but I didn’t. Afterwards, I briefly stopped by 2 bars and people were having a great time celebrating Halloween. As much as I’m kind of tired of bars, the energy can make me feel young again. I might try to do more of that next years, especially since Halloween will be on a Saturday.

Two weekends ago was Rose City Comic Con. It’s one of my favorite events of the year. I was glad that this year it wasn’t the weekend following PAX, so I got a weekend off in between.

I went all three days again, though I didn’t stay long on Friday. I was tired.

I went to panels featuring Wallace Shawn, Cary Elwes, Chris Sarandon, Matthew Lewis, Jason Isaacs, Dan Fogler, Billie Piper, Christopher Eccelston (lots of people are saying this is the panel ever at this convention), Zachary Levi, and Wil Wheaton.

I did photo ops with Jason Isaacs and Wil Wheaton.

I was lucky enough to catch Kelly Sue DeConnick at her table this year. I got a selfie and tried to do the mandatory duck face, but it was hard for me to not smile while I was doing it.

I bought a piece of artwork like I always do and I took pictures of a lot of cosplayers.

There were some differences this year that I wasn’t a fan of. Construction outside meant that entry was different and one day we ended up walking around the entire building before we could get in. It was raining on the third day so thankfully they changed things up a bit. They cleared out the room after every panel, which meant you had to get in line each time if you wanted to see consecutive panels. The queuing procedure for photo ops was weird and sometimes it was hard to hear what was going on.

Overall, I had a great time as always. Next year I hope I remember to pay the little bit extra to get fast pass tickets.

Two weekends ago was Pride Weekend here in Portland. Pride has become one of my favorite times of the year. The positivity and excitement is infectious.

The Out in Tech group that I participate with had a kickoff event the Wednesday before Pride Weekend. They had a makeshift “photo booth” and I used my camera to take pictures. It was fun.

On Friday night I went to Crush to hang out with friends and have drinks. I have a core group of friends that I have become close to this past year or so. I spend a lot of time with them. They’re great people and there’s so much positivity and love between us all.

Saturday night my PDX Gaymers group had its 2nd annual Pride Game Night. We had a great turnout. Probably bigger than last year. My only regret is that I didn’t play games with new people who I hadn’t met before that night. Game Night was early enough so that people could still go to parties afterward. I went to Blow Pony. Blow Pony is a monthly dance party that I’ve been hearing about probably since I first moved here in 2012. I keep saying I’m going to go one of these months but it had never happened until now. It was awkward going by myself, but I did run into some people I knew.

Sunday was the parade. I marched with Intel for the 3rd year in a row. A lot of people don’t like the idea of corporations being involved in Pride, but my corporation does a lot for it’s LGBT employees. My manager actually marched in the parade with his wife who works for another company, but he did stop by the Intel float to say hi. Two of my other teammates marched to show their support, one bringing his wife and daughter and the other’s girlfriend was somewhere in the crowd. Once again, I was amazed by how excited the crowd was to see us. I didn’t see as many people along the parade route that I know as I did last year, but I know that some people saw me.

After this I went on the Big Gay Boat Ride with some friends. It’s an annual event that I had heard about, but never thought much about going on myself. At this point I was exhausted and at the end of my energy. I still had fun though. There were drinks, food, and a drag show. Two contestants from Rupaul’s Drag Race were there, but they weren’t two that I recognized.

Pride month ends today. The suburb of Hillsboro had it’s first Pride celebration and Beaverton had its first Pride parade this month. It’s so exhausting, but enjoyable and fulfilling.