Not a whole lot has happened around here lately. I make an appearance here and there at birthday celebrations, but I mostly stay home. I’ve been sick for most of the past couple of months. Whatever I have is spreading around the lab I work in. Some days it seems like everybody’s coughing. There was actually a 2 week period where I was feeling file, but when I came back to work one Monday, another guy and I were both sick again. I feel better than I have in a while today, but the sickness is still lingering around.
Alex and I stopped dating about a month ago. It was his choice. Nothing happened. He decided that he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship and just wanted a friend that he could be himself around. I never made that post about him that I promised. We met in the spring or summer of last year at a gamer meetup and became friends after we kept seeing each other at various events. When I made that Facebook post at the end of the year with the goal of wanting to go on one date this year, he told me that he had been wanting to ask me out for a while. I’m glad he did because I would’ve never known. We had lots of fun together while it lasted. I was always happy about the fact that we met the old fashioned way and not through an app. We still talk to each other every day and we’ve hung out a few times since then.
Alex did get that job at The Wet Spot and usually works there a few days a week. I’ve added more fish and plants to my aquarium. I’m trying to resist the urge to keep adding things. I’ve cut myself off, but Alex says I could probably get a few shrimp. Right now I have 8 cherry barbs, 5 black skirt tetras, 5 cardinal tetras, 4 algae eaters (otocinclus), and 4 bronze cory catfish.
Pride is this weekend. I’m not sure if I’ll do anything besides go to the festival. I feel like I should do more, especially after the shooting in Orlando last weekend. I can’t wait to not be sick again.
I want to start drawing again. I guess Alex rubbed off (he’s a painter). I used to draw some when I was young, but it was mostly trying to reproduce picture in books. I also think I want to do stuff on Youtube and stream on Twitch more often.
Hopefully, this summer will be more eventful. I have lots of ideas, just not of time.
Saturday, February 27th, 2016
What a difference a week or few can make?
I haven’t been to rugby practice in a few weeks. It was taking up too much time and I had things that I needed to work on at home. I missed a week of and at the next practice it dawned on me that I wasn’t having fun anymore. It was resenting the amount of time I was having to devote to it and it was starting to feel like a job. It was supposed to be recreational fun. A lot of the people who were coming out to practice weren’t coming out anymore and I was missing them. For now, I’m taking a step back and just supporting the team. Today the Lumberjacks play their first game and I’ll be out there cheering them on. Maybe I’ll be out there playing sometime soon.
I had a great Valentine’s Day weekend with the guy that I was seeing, Alex. The next weekend (which was also last weekend) things were different. Simply put, he’s got some things he needs to work through, so he needs to take a step back and just be friends. It was a shock to me because everything was great up to the moment he told me this. He assured me that I hadn’t done anything wrong, though. We’ve been in contact throughout the week. We had drinks last night and I feel optimistic.
That’s how life goes sometimes. Life is still good.
Wow! My dating life has taken off over the past couple of weeks. It’s not surprising that losing fat and putting on some muscle can make you much more appealing. People have told me that I seem more confident and my attitude has changed. I’d like to think that has something to do with it as well, but that part could be a direct result of losing fat and putting on muscle. But I guess physical appearance is what makes them interested in the first place.
I’m 36 and the guys that I have been out with lately are all between 20 and 25. I’ve seen one guy twice. This is surprising to me because most guys that young are only interested in guys around that age. In my experience, at least. I have been told that I look younger than I actually am though. It’s nice to hear guys tells me that I’m sexy, that I’m fun to hang out with, and they had fun when we did adult-type activities together.
Growing up, some of my friends would tell me that I wasn’t any fun to hang out with. Some of them would act like they were my friends, but would talk about me behind my back. This kind of thing lasted even into my college years, so even now I’m sometimes surprised when people like me and want to hang out with me.
When these nice, young guys are saying great things about me, there’s a small part of me that thinks there must be a catch. Are these guys up to something? Are they having fun at my expense? Is this some kind of joke? How can they like me?
Hopefully one day I’ll be able to get over these kinds of doubts and truly accept these guys as genuine. I know that I’m awesome and all the friends I’ve made in recent years and dates I’ve had in recent weeks are learning it as well.